dream machine

1.  No snow or fog on the road
2. In-N-Out for dinner
3. Seeing my favorite band from my childhood live for the first time. MC Bat Commander made brief eye contact and sang to us. Danced. Danced. Danced
4. $10 vodka tonic!?!?!?
5. Girls’ night in: dosx + chips + lime + teebee
6. Denee learns what chatroulette is: HOW YOU LIKE DAT? HOW YOU LIKE DAT!?
7. Made someone’s dream come true.
8. When French people smoke it’s not gross
9. Dude that was blowing smoke rings
10. Broken Yolk brunch. Fuck iHop.
11. Looking at ball gowns
12. Trying clothes on.
13. Found the cutest shoes that I was able to keep on all night. Super comfortable without compromising the ever so elegant stiletto style.
14. Last minute reservation to vintage hotel in the heart of downtown.
15. Putting that mascara on while pregaming with Cuervo margaritas
16. Me throwing up before even going out. I will exclude the details.
17. The Law Offices of Eddie O’Hare
18. The amazing redhead that hooked it up with a booth.
19. Mexican Standoff. Ring Finger. Tim Fizz. Mojitos. I forgot what the fuck the other absinthe drink was called but damn yummy!
20. The Bossa….The Bossa.
21. Our sweet knowledgeable server and the amazing skills of the bartenders!
22. The Brads. How we made The Brads dance together.
23. The older drunk couple.
24. Dancing.
25. A conversation in (Spanportuglish?)
26. Hail in my hair. Finding shelter under a the patio of a closed shop from the rain.
27. The crazy chick that threw a box of pizza at a cab.
28. The dude who spoke nothing but gibberish.
29. The girl who wanted a picture with us.
30. Hot dogs and pizza by the slice.
31. “I wanna party with youuuu! Where the party at?” “Uhh…State on college ave. KBAI!”
32. “HEY MAMI WUSGOOOOOD” Guacatelas. Respeto, por favor.
33. Elevator dude. “Hey did you know that in 1913 this elevator was the fastest one in the world?” “Woooow. Fun facts!…Wait a minute…it says on that little plaque above the buttons!”
34. Fear was on MTV.
35. Big dog. Little dog. They are friends. UNLIKELY FRIENDSHIP!
36. Mariscos pa la cruda on sunday at the park.
37. “Fuck my pants”
38. Discounted Vera Wang feather down pillows.
39. Iced rose milk tea.
40. Singing in the car. Yes.
41. Sharing our hopes. Dreams. Fears. Pasts. Presents and aspiring futures.
42. Clear roads. Pretty snow on mountains, looked like cookies n cream.
43. Oscars and breaking in the new pillows with Manuel who missed me <3

In the midst of such shitty phase of my life where I am constantly in ridiculously toxic, empty and unconscious environment, it truly did wonders for my exhausted soul to witness art with substance that calls for reflection on our current state of affairs. Our actions bear consequences, whether we see those consequences or not and I am not calling for anyone to feel guilty about anything, but to recognize that we all somehow participate in this system of oppression. Once we get past that we can commence the total elimination of racist, sexist, homophobic institutions that kill, rape, torture, humiliate and dehumanize for the greed of few.

I am currently in a position where all kinds of people have been getting away with making fucked up remarks, from assuming that I have a husband and insinuating they want to do “illegal” things to me, to calling welfare recipients “animals”. No person deserves that kind of treatment, and the fact that I can’t truly say what’s on my mind to them, because I am in a position where if I do, I could lose my job doesn’t ameliorate things. I need to start taking better care of myself and my soul. I’ve neglected myself for the past year or so and it’s bringing serious consequences to my attitude and how I have been treating loved ones. Visiting this exhibit was not only refreshing and much needed but it provided substance to my current every day life, much much needed substance. 

Enough bullshit conversations.
Enough daily humiliation.
Enough greed.

Ya basta. 

Impracticality. I strongly believe that everything needs to have a function.

Small talk upsets me. I’d rather sit in silence if there is nothing to say.

People who make stupidass racist, sexist, homophobic, classist, inappropriate comments while I am at work, they know they have me at a disadvantage and I can’t defend myself or give them a proper rebuttal because after all, I am working and they would go crying to my supervisor if I gave them a genuine piece of my mind.

Structure has been upsetting me lately. Sometimes I just want to say “Fuck it” and follow an impulse.

People who drive slow in the fast lane upset me greatly.
Overall, bad drivers upset me. I’m talking to you lady who nearly ran me off the road when you didn’t check your blind spot and switched lanes a lo pendejo.

Excessive obsession with material acquisitions.

People who diet, call certain foods “bad” and are generally a pain in the ass when it comes to food. Just eat the fucking donut! Eat it!

Talking about the weather. (Could be categorized as small talk? Unless you REALLY give a shit about the weather)

Passive aggressive notes. Just tell me what the fucking problem is. 

Well it’s only the 3rd day of February and Chinese new year. 

Year of the rabbit? No, it’s the year of the booze for me!
On Tuesday the 1st it was my day off.

I slept in. Like, REALLY slept in.
Had a doctor’s appointment at 1:00 and I did not appreciate the rude medical assistant or the way in which she obnoxiously snapped her gum.

“Any family history of *SNAP* diabetes *SNAP* high blood pressure *SNAP* cancer? *SNAPSNAP!*

Rude. Unclassy. I need to find a new doctor.

Was super thrilled with my lab results.
My cholesterol is low, I don’t have diabetes, and I’m overall a healthy gal.
I was so thrilled I went to have barbecue with Manny.

I stuffed my face with ribs, sausage, cornbread, mac n cheese, fries and HELLA BARBECUE SAUCE yum-fucking-my.

I currently started reading And Here’s the Kicker by Mike Sacks which has been giving me an insight into the process of writing comedy, I paused because Buck Henry’s interview mentions “The Graduate” and I felt compelled to rewatch it. Then Woody Allen is mentioned and I start re-watching “Annie Hall” and Annie Hall becomes my fashion idol. I wonder if I could get away with wearing a tie at work? 

I am also reading Just Kids by Patti Smith, given to me by Jinny. Which is making me reflect on my own childhood and the deep connections I feel with the people I love.

Day 2 of this month consisted of work. Then drinks with Denee and our usual lady talk. Denee and my girlfriends in general, make me appreciate having that female camaraderie, having that someone to stuff your face with fried food and beers with while talking about everything and anything, with the occasional drunk texts.

Day 3 I am having car drama. My car door won’t close. Something wrong with the latch. I have to take Manny’s car and it’s dead out of gas. I’m running late. I barely make it to work on time, one red stop light and I would have been late. Geez.

I’m getting sick and tired about talking about the weather.
I’m getting sick and tired of some people feeling like it’s okay to speak inappropriately to me (I’m talking to you, oldass bald motherfucker! The reason I didn’t respond to your advances was because I had nothing nice to say. I could give two shit if you said, “I’m just teasin’”)

But life is lovely so far. I think I’m going to start taking some major risks and leaps of faith pretty soon! 

Some February this is.